


The gang goes on a manhunt

by DmitriMolotov



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Fake AH Crew, GTA AU, Gen, Humor, Immortal Fake AH Crew, Temporary Character Death
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-29
Updated: 2016-07-08
Packaged: 2018-06-05 05:32:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6691606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DmitriMolotov/pseuds/DmitriMolotov
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Fake AH Crew had long since discovered the value of respawns. Effectively it made them immortal. Dying still hurt, that much was true, but it wasn’t as big a deal if you didn’t stay dead.</p><p>One day Geoff comes to the realisation that Ryan is the only one of them who has never died. He decides this needs to be fixed and that they should make a game of it. Let the hunt begin.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Teaser

**Author's Note:**

> I’ve had this idea for a while now, but the UnCivil War livestream finally kicked my butt into gear to write it.  
> The conversation was basically that if they were immortal in real life, the AH guys would be total assholes to each other because they could still feel pain.  
> This entertained my sadistic inner psychopath greatly.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This basically serves as the teaser trailer for this fic.  
> It's probably too early to say "get excited", but I'm excited.

“Wait a minute. Ryan, you’ve _never_ died?”

Geoff and Ryan were driving back to Geoff’s penthouse in Ryan’s less-than-subtle black and green Pegassi Zentorno. Geoff was sitting in the passenger seat trying to shake off the groggy feeling of a respawn after the deal with their suppliers had gone south.

Ryan gotten out with the guns and his life, but the same couldn’t be said for the suppliers.

They pulled up to a red light, not wanting to attract attention from the cops by running it.

“Nope,” Ryan answered nonchalantly, although he was quick to add, “and I’d like to keep it that way as long as possible.”

Geoff raised his eyebrows, his moustache twitching slightly, “You know you gotta pop that cherry sometime... We could do it right now if you’d like.” Geoff pulled his gun from his shoulder holster and cocked it.

“Woah!” Ryan threw his hands up instinctively, “No. No, no, no thanks, I’m good, let’s not.”

Geoff shrugged and re-holstered his gun. “Alright, but it’s gonna happen eventually… I just think it might be easier on you if you know it’s coming. First time’s always a bitch.”

Ryan swallowed, relaxing a little as the light changed to green, “Well, thank you for your concern, but, uh, I’m fine dying on my own time.”

“Whatever you say, buddy.” Geoff shrugged it off, but the thought still lingered in his mind.

* * *

“Hey, how many times have you died Michael?” Geoff asked the lad later that night, back at the penthouse.

Michael scoffed a laugh, “Fucked if I know, pretty sure I lost count around double digits. If you want the record though, you should talk to Gavin. He’s died more times than I can remember.”

“Are you saying awful things about me again Michael?” Gavin called out from the kitchen, tossing Michael a beer as he opened his own and slumped on the couch next to him.

“Geoff wanted to know how many times I’ve died. I just said 'not as many times as you have'.” Michael tossed Gavin the Xbox controller and popped the cap on his beer, taking a long swig. “What’d you wanna know for, Geoff?”

Geoff sighed, looking a little irritated. “Nah, it’s stupid. It’s just… You know… Would you believe me if I said Ryan had never died?”

“What? Ryan? Bollocks.” Gavin spluttered through a mouthful of beer.

“No.” Michael deadpanned, holding back a grin, “I would absolutely not believe you.”

“Motherfucker says it’s true,” Geoff insisted shaking his head, “I can’t think of a single time I saw him die.”

“Holy shit. You know, you might be right.” Michael mused.

“Has Lil J died yet?” Gavin asked quizzically, “I can’t remember.”

Michael burst out laughing.

“Hazing day dude! Oh that’s right, you weren’t there for that…” Geoff began with a smirk.

“We fucking killed the shit outta him!” Michael exclaimed, still laughing, “We killed him so many times and then the cops killed him when he tried to come after us. That was a great day. Wait! Didn’t Ryan die that day too?”

“No, he ran away, dove under the pier and rode it out.” Geoff corrected.

“That rat bastard.” Michael was now sharing some of Geoff’s annoyance at Ryan’s lack of deaths. Somehow it felt like he was cheating. “Oh, we gotta fucking kill him Geoff. He needs to die.”

Gavin scowled, “What you’re just gonna pop him in the head when he walks in the door or something?”

“No, there’s gotta be a way we can make this more fun.” Geoff rubbed his chin and grinned, “I think I know what we can do.”


	2. The Most Dangerous Game

Geoff had called for the crew to meet him at the fountain at Legion Square, Downtown Los Santos at 1pm.

As usual, Gavin was last to arrive, ten minutes after Michael, who was five minutes late to start with.

Geoff was bouncing with anticipation by the time Gavin had strolled over to meet them, “Alright, so now we’re all finally here, is everyone armed?”

“Does the pope shit in the woods?” Michael quipped, pulling open his jacket to reveal his twin pistols.

Geoff smirked, “Alright, alright. Ryan, may I have your weapon, please?”

Ryan pulled his gun from its holster under his jacket, but cocked his head at Geoff, “Why?”

“Just hand it over.”

Ryan hesitantly handed it to Geoff, eyeing him suspiciously.

“I have an idea for something fun for us to do on this lovely Sunday afternoon.”

Jack rolled his eyes, “Is this going to be another one of your ‘game’ days like ‘King Geoff’?”

“No. Well, yes. Have uh, I know you guys aren’t much of a literary bunch, but have any of you ever heard of ‘The Most Dangerous Game’?”

Ryan immediately knew where this was going and felt his stomach drop.

Geoff continued without waiting for a response, “It’s a story I read when I was a kid, and basically it’s human hunting.”

There was a murmur of amusement from the crew as Geoff continued, “Now, it has recently come to my attention that – and I don’t even know how this was fucking possible – Ryan, unbelievably, is the only one of us who hasn’t died yet.”

Everyone stared at Ryan, Jeremy and Jack looking incredulous, Michael and Gavin grinning like idiots. It was pretty clear who Geoff had discussed this with prior.

“Ryan? Really?” Jeremy got out first.

Jack quietly muttered, “Seriously?”

Ryan glowered at Geoff, “Geoff, we talked about this… I don’t even know if I _can_ respawn, I’m _really_ not in a rush to find out.”

“No, it’s ok, because you get a choice here; you haven’t even heard how the game is played yet.”

Ryan sighed, beginning to resign himself to the fact that this was going to happen whether he wanted it to or not, “fine, what are the parameters of your ‘game’?”

Geoff’s disposition immediately brightened. “First, you get the choice that I can shoot you right now, in the head so it’s quick, and you can see if you respawn…”

“I’m gonna have to go with not-that-option.”

“…or we play the game. You get a one-hour head start to run and hide and then the rest of us will try to find and kill you in any way we want.”

“Jesus Geoff.”

“For added incentive,” he added, turning to the rest of the crew, “I have placed a $10000 bounty on Ryan’s head. The only way to claim it is to kill him.”

“Is there any way _I_ can win this game? I mean, can I claim it if I kill myself?” Ryan asked facetiously.

“No, it doesn’t work like that, because then you’ll be dead, _but_ I will pass it over to you if you can survive three days without being killed by any of us.”

“Three days huh? Well, I’ve gone this long, what’s three days more?” He sighed, “Seeing as how I’m pretty sure I don’t have an actual choice in the matter, I will accept your challenge. Can I defend myself?”

“You can try!” Michael piped in.

“You can’t start with any weapons, but what you do to defend yourself after we start is up to you.” Geoff explained with a shrug.

“Good. It’s not like you could really stop me anyway.” Ryan felt a twinge of excitement building at the challenge, edging out the initial fear.

“Michael! Michael, do you want to team up?” Gavin pseudo-whispered to Michael.

“Question!” Michael raised his hand, “Can we kill each other?”

Gavin looked dejected, “Aww.”

Geoff thought for a moment, “Uh, yeah? I don’t care. If you work together though, you have to split the bounty, or fight over it or whatever; other than that it’s up to you.” It was clear from Geoff’s tone of voice he was done with the explanations and just wanted to go forward with the game.

“We can team up later, Gav.” Michael assured Gavin with a wink.

“Eyyoo! My boi. Team Nice Dynamite!”

“Wait, what if Ryan just goes to the airport, gets in a plane and leaves?” Jack suddenly thought aloud.

Ryan smirked, he actually hadn’t thought of that, but was now considering it.

“Ryan, you fucking coward, you were going to fucking do that too, weren’t you?” Michael complained.

“I actually hadn’t considered it, but now that you mention it…” He pensively stroked his chin.

“You piece of shit…” Michael started before Ryan cut him off.

“Don’t worry, I’ll stay in Los Santos. Realistically, how far can I get in the one hour head start you plan on giving me anyway? …actually, I reckon I could get plenty far.”

“Now that you mention it, an hour does seem a bit excessive. Make it half an hour,” Geoff mused, looking at his watch. “By my watch, it’s almost 1.30 now, so we’ll come after you at 2.”

Ryan’s eyebrows furrowed, “So… go?”

“Go.”

Ryan eyed his gun still in Geoff’s hand. “Can I just quickly…” He snatched it before Geoff had a chance to stop him, held it up and fired off a few rounds into the air, attracting the attention of a nearby police cruiser. Two officers immediately got out of the car and made for the suspicious group of armed men near the fountain.

“Good luck,” Ryan smirked as he pushed the gun back into Geoff’s hand and dashed behind a pillar, edging his way behind the crew to the other side of the fountain and doubling back around to the police cruiser.

The rest of the crew were dumbstruck.

“What the fuck just happened?” Jeremy asked, perplexed.

The officers were distracted calling in backup and keeping their weapons trained on the five remaining members of the Fake AH Crew.

Geoff shook his head, “Goddammit. He’s already trying to fuck us.”

The crew watched on, ignoring the cops threatening them, as Ryan made his way to the now unmanned cruiser and slid in the driver’s side door.

“Um, Ryan just stole the cop car,” Jack deadpanned.

The others burst out laughing as the officers stopped approaching them and turned to run after Ryan in their cruiser. Ryan swung the car around and drove back past them.

“If the cops happen to kill me first, do they win?” He called out the window as he drove off, laughing maniacally. It wasn’t long before they heard sirens and another police car shot past them after Ryan.

“We’ll just follow the trail of police!” Geoff managed to get out between laughs. “You’re so stupid!”

Jack, Jeremy and Gavin were now in hysterics.

“We’ll just follow the trail of explosions and dead cops!” Michael declared with a giggle. “He’s so fucking dead, dude.”


	3. Go!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back!  
> Still working on getting Divided We Fall finished, but this is still happening.

_Sunday 1.30pm_

 

Ryan took off in the police cruiser.

_This thing can really haul ass._

It wasn’t quite his Zentorno, but for the weight of it, it sure had some grunt. Bullets pinged off the rear bumper as the cops chasing him aimed for the tyres.

He had to get to weapons, or at least a less conspicuous vehicle and then find some place to hole up until he could work something out.

 _Think on the go Ryan, you got this_.

He headed towards Ammu-Nation in Little Seoul with a vague idea of a plan forming in his mind.

* * *

“Oh shit, I nearly forgot – ” Geoff tapped the comms, “Hey Ryan, you still there?”

The crew was immediately greeted with the sound of sirens and gunfire in their earpieces, “Uh yeah, bit busy though…” Ryan sounded focused but relaxed. This wasn’t unfamiliar territory for him.

“Just wanted to make sure you hadn’t switched off your comms yet, you know, just in case.”

_The sound of screeching brakes, more gunfire, a door slamming._

“Hadn’t planned on it,” Ryan replied calmly.

_A bell, more gunshots, someone crying._

“Ryan, where are you? Are you _robbing_ someone?”

There was a soft pleading voice from the other end that sounded like it was stuttering “ _you don’t have to do this…”_ over and over.

“Um… Don’t worry about it,” Ryan’s voice was still calm and controlled, light even, given the circumstances. “You don’t need to know what I’m up to Geoff…”

“You crazy son-of-a…”

The comms went dead on Ryan’s end.

“Ryan? Goddamnit!” Geoff sighed and turned back to the crew with a shrug. “Well, he’s handling it remarkably well.”

“Wait, he’s robbing someone?” Gavin sounded confused, “How is he doing that? He doesn’t have a weapon?!”

Geoff shrugged, “Dude, it’s _Ryan_. Who fuckin’ knows with him…”

“Ryan used intimidate,” Michael said stiffly, “it’s super effective!”

Jeremy burst out laughing and quickly set off the others.

Jack was the first to collect himself, “I reckon he’s gonna hole himself up somewhere,” he had already started making predictions, “He’ll bunker down with weapons and explosives. Make himself an impenetrable fortress somewhere and go for a full-on siege.”

Geoff had his own ideas, “For three days? Nah, he’s a clever motherfucker, he’ll plant traps or a false trail or something, keep us looking for him.”

“I still reckon he’s going to get in a jet and fly around,” Gavin asserted.

Michael shook his head, “That’s stupid, Gavin, he can’t stay in the air forever.”

“Or can he?” Jeremy said with a smirk.

The crew let out an immature giggle at the reference without anyone actually quoting it. They could practically hear Ryan bristle every time they made the joke.

“So how are we going to do this? Are we all going to go our separate ways? Or are people teaming up?” Jack inquired.

“I think…” Geoff started, stuttering, “I think we should all at least _try_ individually first. Make it fair.”

“Fair?!” Gavin cried, “You know what Ryan’s idea of ‘fair’ is, right Geoff? I’d be surprised if he doesn’t end up hunting _us_ at some point.”

“No, but look, it’ll be fair to each other; we each get a fair shot at the bounty. Then if we fail…”

“You mean _when_ we fail,” Gavin corrected.

Michael interjected, “Gavin, please, have at least _some_ confidence in us.”

“IF we fail, then we can team up however we want.” Geoff finished.

“And if he gets to the third day, I say we call a truce and all go after him together,” Jack suggested.

Everyone agreed.

Geoff rubbed his hands together, “Alright, now that that’s settled, we should probably sort out weapons and ammunition. Let’s go stock up.”

“Isn’t that cheating?” Jeremy asked, “Shouldn’t we wait till his time’s up?”

Geoff raised an eyebrow, “I didn’t say we couldn’t move from here, I just said we wouldn’t come after him. So if we see him along the way, nobody kill him.”

* * *

When they arrived at Ammu-Nation, the place was awash with ambulances, police cars and carnage. The whole building was surrounded in crime scene tape. The Weazel News building was literally across the road. A news crew was already pushing for an interview. Judging by the way the cops were shrugging them off, it didn’t look like they’d apprehended anyone.

 “Hmm… I’m gonna say: Ryan got here first,” Michael mused aloud.

“Oh come on!” Geoff roared, clearly frustrated, “It hasn’t even been half an hour!”

“Well, at least he can’t have gotten _far_ ,” Jack mused, trying to stay positive, “If anything he’s probably got more cops on him now.”

Geoff threw his hands up in defeat, “Alright then, what does everyone have on them?”

“Well, if you’d told us this is what we were gonna be doing today, we might have come more prepared,” Michael scoffed.

“I wanted it to be a surprise!” Geoff grinned, they could tell he loved every minute of his game days, especially when they were the ones who ended up suffering for them. “It’s more fun this way.”

Michael shook his head, “Maybe for _you_ …” he muttered.

Jeremy straightened with a start. He just remembered something.

Ryan had been with Jeremy earlier in the day, they’d gone together in Lil J’s bright pink Pegassi Vacca to meet up with Geoff and the others. Ryan had gotten in with his rocket launcher... he hadn’t said why he had it when Jeremy had picked him up from the mechanic’s, but nothing was on fire either, so Jeremy hadn’t thought to ask. It was still in the car.

He dashed back to where he’d parked it a little way up the street, he didn’t even need to open the door to see it poking out from behind the passenger seat, a duffel bag of ammunition next to it on the floor.

“Oh yes…” Jeremy grinned.

Geoff and the others followed him over, “You got something Lil J?”

“Oh, I think I just might…” He waved to the bag and RPG.

Michael giggled and Gavin snorted.

“You’re gonna go after him with his own weapons?” Gavin asked in disbelief.

Michael shook his head, “He’s gonna be so pissed when he finds out dude.”

Jeremy shrugged, his grin growing even wider.

“I’ve got a good feelin’ about this, I’m gonna head back towards Vinewood, Ryan knows the city pretty well, got a feeling he’ll be laying low somewhere local,” Geoff asserted, “For now anyway.”

“I can give you a ride if you want Geoff,” Jeremy suggested, “I was gonna head that way myself.”

Geoff’s eyebrows furrowed pensively, “Alright, but one condition.”

“Yeah?”

“I’m driving.”

Jeremy rolled his eyes, “Yeah, alright.”

“What are the rest of you motherfuckers doing?” Geoff asked with a smirk.

Michael and Gavin looked at each other and immediately began bickering between themselves.

Geoff rolled his eyes and looked over at Jack, who just shrugged and said, “I’m going to the airport… so no prizes for guessing there.”

Everybody knew Jack was most comfortable with a birds-eye-view. At this stage, if Ryan was running from the cops, he’d probably have the best shot at finding him. And if he could manage to steal an attack chopper or jet without too much trouble, there was a good chance he could take him out before the others got to him.

“What do you mean you _fell_ here?!” Michael suddenly yelled, everyone else turning to look at him, “Where’s _your_ car Gavin?”

“In the bloody garage!” Gavin yelled back, “Weren’t you listening?”

“Fine, whatever, I guess you come with me then…” He shook his head and scowled at Gavin, who grinned sheepishly back at him.

“But as soon as I get my hands on some explosives and my minigun, you’re on your own.”

Gavin gave him a funny sort of lopsided grin, “Aw, of course Michael.”

Michael smothered a giggle and shook his head, “Why don’t I believe you…?”

“Alright!” Geoff declared, checking his watch. “It’s 2, or near enough anyway. Time’s up. I s’pose we should give him a heads-up.”

* * *

Ryan had managed a near-miraculous escape from Ammu-Nation with a bag full of various weapons and explosives, sneaking out a rear exit and skilfully evading the cops… that’s how he would have liked to describe it anyway. It was really more of a, “ _well, I guess it’s time to stab my way out of here_ ” type-scenario.

He’d been hiding only a block away in the entrance to some shady-looking apartment building that he seemed to blend in well with. From where he stood, he could see the cops who hadn’t had the misfortune of seeing his escape scrambling to gain control of the situation. He chuckled quietly to himself.

Ryan’s communicator buzzed in his ear. It had been quiet for so long he’d forgotten he had it at all.

“Hunters are you ready?” Geoff’s voice called in his ear.

In the background he could hear the sirens. They were very close. They’d probably gone to stock up on weapons just like he had. _Shit._ Well, at least they were outta luck now.

“Ryan, get ready to run, bitch,” Michael hummed an oddly menacing giggle.

“Oh, I was born ready,” Ryan confidently lied in reply.

In his pocket, his phone vibrated. His mechanic had dropped off his car. It was parked on the street close to the park a few blocks down for him to pick up.

Carefully, he picked his way through the streets, trying to remain unseen by both the cops and anyone who might recognise him.

With little trouble, he made it to his Adder, throwing open the door and sliding into the familiar leather seat. He threw his freshly acquired weapons cache onto the seat beside him and made sure he had some proximity mines at the ready for if… _when_ the chase began.

The Adder wasn’t the most subtle vehicle - really none of the crew’s personal vehicles were – with the matte black and green paintjob and his reasonably distinct ‘TESERACT’ license plate, but at this point blending in was less of a priority than top speed. At least it wasn’t bright pink like some of the others…

Unfortunately it was known to police from a chase it had come out of second-best only last week, and as the Vagabond was on their radar, it didn’t take long for them to start looking for his known locations and vehicles. He picked up their rapid chatter over the radio scanner he had installed in the car. While their game of cat and mouse resumed, this time he had bigger things to worry about... Most notably, the mouse was about to have five fucking pumas hunting him down.

He rounded a corner and nearly ran straight into a cop car.

“Yikes!” He exclaimed, almost involuntarily.

The cops switched on their siren and tore after him, his scanner buzzing a mix of static and updates on his position.

_…in pursuit, suspect heading North…need backup, repeat…armed and very dangerous…_

“Uh oh, that’s not good,” Ryan muttered to himself. He’d not gotten nearly as far away from their starting point as he would’ve liked. The others could be on him in almost no time.

“Ry-an…” Right on cue, Jeremy’s mock-spooky, sing-song voice over the comms was in his ear, “we’re coming for you Ry-an…” he teased.

“That’s creepy Lil J,” Geoff remarked.

“It really is,” Jack agreed with a laugh.

“He’s got cops on him guys,” Jeremy said, addressing the crew, “shouldn’t take long to track him down.”

He wasn’t wrong.

There were now more than a few cops on his tail, he could hear the sirens wailing behind him, as he threw a proximity mine out the window and waited for the confirmatory explosion behind him. It didn’t come straight away.

 _Must’ve missed it._ He thought with an agitated huff.

A voice over a loudspeaker instructed him to “Stop the car!”

“Nope, not gonna stop the car,” Ryan muttered to himself in response to the cops instructions, temporarily forgetting he’d switched his mic for the comms back on, “you have _no_ idea what’s chasing me…”

“Oh, they’re about to find out Ryan!” Jeremy’s voice in his ear startled him; he wasn’t expecting it to be so close.

“Jeremy? Uh, where are you?”

“Check your rear-view mirror for a sec,” Geoff’s voice instructed.

Ryan cringed as he glanced up and saw the fireball that was formerly a police cruiser blossom in the reflection of the mirror.

“Ah. So you’ve caught up,” he remarked casually, masking his trepidation.

_And one of you has a rocket launcher, it would seem. Wonderful._

“Well,” he continued an audible quaver in his voice, “this _was_ a pleasant idea, until I messed it up immediately.”

He giggled, but it was nervous, almost involuntary and a little maniacal as he rounded the next bend.

“Hello!” Jack’s voice was in his ear now as the sound of engines overhead grew louder.

“Jack! Is that you in a jet?”

“Who else would it be?” Geoff joked, but Ryan wasn’t in the mood to hear it.

His eyes scanned the road and surrounding buildings ahead. He needed to find somewhere to hide and lay low, needed cover. There was a subway tunnel up ahead, if he could just reach it before Jack could get a shot on him…

_Oh shit!_

He swerved hard as a missile came down right in front of his Adder, seeing it just in time to avoid the impact; he could hear chunks of roadway raining down on the roof above his head as his car was swallowed in a cloud of dust and smoke.

It was cover enough. He gunned it for the tunnel.

“Oh no, Ryan!” Jeremy got out, only moments before an explosion mixed with Jeremy and Geoff’s combined screams carried through the comms.

It took a few moments to register, but when it did Ryan was grinning ear to ear.

“Hey! You found my proximity mine!” He exclaimed gleefully.

“Goddammit Ryan!” Jack yelled in frustration as his Adder zipped into the tunnel and they lost him once more.

Less than an hour in and his death count was already starting to tally up. He might just be able to win this after all…

**Author's Note:**

> Ok guys, here's the plan: there is no plan.  
> I'm writing this one as I go...  
> I know how I'm going to end it, but there's so much fun to be had along the way.  
> So if you have an idea of something you want to see, leave a suggestion in the comments or come hit me up at my Tumblr [@DmitriMolotov](https://dmitrimolotov.tumblr.com/)  
> Or, better yet, come join my Discord where we chat about fics: [Molotov Cocktales](https://discord.gg/T5vfMjB) (note: there will be Spoilers in some threads)


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